Can we start by defining “rebound” experiences?
I’d define a rebound as a romantic choice one makes right after a breakup to accelerate the process of moving on.
Maybe a person couples up with someone they don’t even like. Perhaps the decision involves overzealous commitment; I have seen people jump into a serious relationship weeks after a breakup and I wonder, “Are they moving too quickly? Rebounding to fill the gap left by their previous partner?”
Usually it’s about emotional palate cleansing and moving on as quickly as possible.
It sounds like your rebound was your ex – the one you hooked up with while hitting your breakup milestones. That sounds like a sexual rebound, for sure.
It would help to stop thinking of this next step as a rebound.
You’re not bouncing back from anything right now. Two years after your breakup, you’re ready to meet someone new – maybe for one night, maybe more. That means you’re like the zillions of people who are on dating apps, participating in activities, and showing up to running groups thinking, “I hope I like someone here.”
The trick is to connect with people you enjoy. You don’t have to evaluate them as a potential rom-com archetype. Simply ask, “Do they seem like good company?”
It will take time. A quarter of this advice column is people asking how to find other cool people to befriend, date, or love. Hopefully everyone discovers each other eventually.
It’ll require patience, now that you’re really looking.
Remember, you’re ready for a new experience. No need to label it.
– Meredith
Readers? How do you define rebound? What was your schedule for moving on with someone new? When you think a next step has to go a certain way, does it limit the potential for new experiences?
