I was teed up on the forgiving and designed for pars seventh hole of New Hampshire’s Mountain View Grand (www.mountainviewgrand.com/) Golf Course when my caddie, Phineas, noticed I was second-guessing my club choice.
Hybrid? Iron? I looked down at the hybrid in my hand and Phineas let out a snort.
“So, you think the iron then?” I asked, looking in his eyes. He didn’t speak, but I could see he wanted the iron. And so it was. I relaxed, took a gentle swing and dropped it on a hill where it rolled up close to the green where I was able to finish with a birdie.
Phineas was right.
Phineas is also a llama.
What the what? A llama as your caddie? Sure, it sounds out there, and it’s certainly not the norm on a golf day. But The Mountain View Grand’s Llama Tee Time Trek program that matches you with your very own llama caddie and handler for your nine-hole round was something I knew I just had to try. (I have a thing for llamas).
Verdict? A llama caddie may not be able to actually give you distance reads and club suggestions, and having a llama along for the round may give golf purists the twitches, but here’s the thing: It’s fun.
And golf is supposed to be fun. The llama round isn’t designed for totally serious golf, but here’s the thing: I like the idea of a more loose and relaxing golf day. And I’m here to say a llama caddie does give you just that. And unlike blaring AC/DC from your golf cart speaker, a llama along with you has zero impact on other players on the course – except of course for the element of surprise.
The Mountain View Grand Golf Course, which sidles up to the classic and beautiful Mountain View Grand Resort and Spa, may just be the perfect spot for this.
It’s a worthy nine-holer with water hazards, spots where carry is a must and you take on some pretty intense up and downhills, challenging greens and undulating fairways.
It’s also beautiful. Tucked into the flatter land edged by the Presidentials (I’m always happy when I’m in the shadow of Mount Washington), the course rolls up past country barns, woodsy outlooks and green fields. It’s well-maintained, and while it’s a nine-holer, it offers a separate set of tees for a second nine. I happen to like playing a nine twice; you go in the second half with wisdom.
Your llama caddie and its handler meet you at the first hole where you are supplied with a cooler full of refreshing drinks and snacks. I opened it up and peered in. Unwashed giant carrots? Interesting snack. And then I realized: I had snacks for my llama caddie too. So fun.
Phineus was to carry my clubs for the round but, his handler told me, he had a rough morning and was feeling a bit ornery. (His three siblings were to be castrated that day and since they are on the same schedule, he was denied his breakfast. I’d be ornery too).
But Phineas is a sport, so he still agreed to come along, with the handler carrying the clubs.
Now, it might just be coincidence, but I played with relaxed abandon that day, swinging without angst and racking up a pretty great score for me.
As I read about Wyndham Clark’s unfortunate outburst and actions at the U.S. Open a few days later, I had to wonder: did he just need a llama caddie? I jest, of course, but only a little. To me, the biggest obstacle we mere mortal players face out there aren’t crazy bunkers and water shots. Rather, it’s that anger and frustration that can seep into our psyche when we’re not hitting as we wish we would.
A llama trek golf outing is quirky and very “do this on vacation-like,” for sure. But it also puts a golfer at ease, taking their emotional focus away from errant shots and toward this fun, friendly, furry caddie. Sounds good to me.
Llama caddies must be booked in advance, and only work with you for the first nine holes. But at the Mountain View Grand, the good vibes Phineas brought me carried on. The beauty of the spot, the ease of ordering course-side lunch, the nature that surrounded me?
It all adds up to a memorable in the best ways round. Or as Phineas might say: “Snort.” I’m relatively sure he was agreeing with me.
