Don’t expect him to match your energy if he’s a bad planner.
He might love you as much as you love him, but the coordination and strategy of the relationship will probably fall to you.
This is a good time to ask if he shares your feelings, if not your energy. Is he all in? If you were open to moving, would he be ready to live with you? (If he says no, find out more.)
Assuming he wants to make this work, ask him how he imagines your long-distance relationship. How often would you visit? What are his hopes and concerns?
Once you’re on the same page about expectations, you can plan some trips in advance. It might be easier to separate with confidence if long weekends are already on the calendar.
That’s the only advice I have – to ask if he wants to be with you, and then book some flights. After that, you’ll see how it goes.
One last thought: you say he’s taught you love, patience, and independence. Remember that you keep those lessons, with or without him.
– Meredith
Readers? Does a long-distance relationship work if only one person plans? What should this LW figure out before moving ahead with this? If you’re the planner in your relationship, how do you make it all work?
Send your own anonymous question here. When you ask a question, you help others wondering the same thing.
