If you read this column and pay attention, you’ll realize how often people use the word “partner” to describe their significant others.
When I was younger, the word was reserved for the LGBTQ+ community. But straight people started using it too, probably because they were desperate for a way to say, “this person standing next to me is my person, but not my spouse.”
The right etymologist and historian could probably lead a great discussion about how words change and who gets to use them. But for our purposes, the point is: if you say a word like partner, people will get it. If you prefer to say fiancé, they’ll also understand (and know you’re not a Mrs.) – but they may follow up by asking when you plan to get married. You can always respond, “We like things as they are.”
If you love the word fiancé, go ahead and use it. I would just say … it’s not shorthand. If you want a quick introduction that tells people who you are to each other, is there, in fact, a better label?
I’ll end this by asking another question: Sometimes people make assumptions based on the look of a couple. If someone introduces you as your fiancé’s wife, do you care? Will you correct them? Talk to your fiancé about this. Decide whether you’ll let a “husband” or “wife” intro slide, or if it’s always worthy of a clarification.
– Meredith
Readers? I know we’ve talked about the ups and downs of the word “partner.” but in this case, the word up for debate is fiancé. Thoughts on that word? Also: the letter writer says she doesn’t care what people think. If that’s the case, does any of this matter? Aren’t introductions over in a few seconds? Another question: if your older relative has a significant other, what do you call that person to other people?
