“I want to share a home and life.”
I can’t get around this sentence.
You want to be in the same home, but he doesn’t.
You could rent out one of your homes and live in the other, but that hasn’t come up, I assume. He wants space. Meanwhile, you’re sick of driving and packing.
The cleaning also sounds a bit dramatic. If you’re going to be in a serious relationship from two locations, I think you’re allowed to leave some clutter and not treat every visit like a stranger is coming to town.
He’s your perfect match in “many ways,” but not in this. Also, it sounds like when it comes to compromise, communication, and flexibility, he hasn’t been a great partner at all.
Another thing: you haven’t met that friend.
All of this tells me it might be time to part ways. If you’re looking for permission, consider it granted.
– Meredith
Readers? Is there compromise to find here? Are they as well-matched as the letter writer says? Does this kind of relationship sound ideal to you?
What’s on your mind about a relationship in your life? Send your own anonymous question to [email protected] or use the anonymous form.

