If you had written this letter weeks or months ago, I would have told you to stop telling people about your feelings for a guy you don’t know yet.
I would have said, “Just talk to your crush about the weather and school. Then ask him for a date.”
You’ve already gone big with your confessions to friends, and that’s OK. But now it’s time to talk less, and do more.
Get your crush’s contact information ask for a date. Make it something simple (a walk, coffee, quick dinner) – to see if there’s interest and chemistry. Try not to ask him for final answers about his feelings for you. He might not know you enough to give you clarity. Please give him time to figure you out.
I do think you like this part of the crush experience – the chatting with friends, the anticipation, the drama, the excitement. I get it, and I’m not judging. If I’m honest about my younger days of dating, my crushes on people were sometimes a lot more exciting than the people themselves. It was almost as if the real men had nothing to do with my own private narrative that I discussed with friends, as I hoped and plotted.
It’s fun to have a fantasy, but in your case, reality could be better – and more instructive.
Ask him to spend time with you. Proceed from there.
– Meredith
Readers? Is the drama of anticipation more exciting than actually pursuing the crush? Is the LW hoping that one of these people will do the work for her and ask how he feels? Did the friend’s ex give the best advice here?
Send your own anonymous question here. When you ask a question, you help others wondering the same thing.
