Here in Massachusetts, we’re 3,000 miles from the nearest In-N-Out Burger, but that doesn’t stop us from obsessing over its legendary secret menu.
As a Boston food blogger who’s flown to California twice for a Double-Double, I’ve heard countless New Englanders debate Animal Style fries they’ve never actually tasted. It’s our bizarre regional pastime: claiming expertise on a fast-food chain we mostly know through Instagram slideshows, TikTok hacks, and food documentaries.
We parse sauce ratios, grill techniques, and onion choices like sports stats, promising road-trip pilgrimages while freezing in line for lobster rolls and swearing we’re loyal to roast beef.
1. Animal Style – The Holy Grail of Secret Orders
Nothing sparks more passionate food debates in my Cambridge writing group than Animal Style anything. The mustard-grilled patty slathered with extra spread, grilled onions, and pickles transforms ordinary burgers and fries into cult favorites.
My cousin Mark returned from San Diego last summer with what he called “life-changing” photos of his Animal Style experience. He wouldn’t stop texting me close-ups of those caramelized onions.
Massachusetts locals have created countless homemade versions, with my neighbor’s annual “Almost Animal Style” cookout drawing bigger crowds than most Fenway tailgates. We’re collectively obsessed with something most of us have only seen on In-N-Out’s not-so-secret menu website.
2. 3×3 (Triple Triple) – The Skyscraper Sandwich
Boston construction workers love chatting about this towering masterpiece during lunch breaks. Three beef patties stacked with three slices of American cheese, all dressed with fresh lettuce, tomato, and that famous spread.
I remember my brother returning from Los Angeles with wild stories about attempting to fit this monster in his mouth. “It’s like trying to bite the Prudential Tower,” he joked, showing everyone at Thanksgiving dinner the epic fail photos.
Funny enough, I’ve heard at least five different pronunciation debates at Southie bars about whether it’s “Triple-Triple” or “Three-by-Three.” Either way, this protein powerhouse has achieved mythical status among Massachusetts burger enthusiasts who’ve never experienced its glory firsthand.
3. Grilled Cheese – The Vegetarian Secret Weapon
Berkshire college students returning from California semesters abroad speak of this meatless wonder with religious reverence. The standard In-N-Out bun and toppings – crisp lettuce, juicy tomato, grilled onions, and special spread – minus the burger patty, plus extra melted American cheese.
Last year, my vegetarian sister created a “Massachusetts In-N-Out Night” featuring her homemade version. Twenty friends showed up with California decorations, and nobody mentioned the irony of celebrating food from 3,000 miles away.
What makes this simple sandwich so fascinating is how it elevates fast-food vegetarian options beyond the sad salad. Even hardcore carnivores in my office admit they’d try it – high praise from people who consider lobster rolls a basic food group.
4. Protein Style – The Carb-Conscious Creation
Boston fitness influencers can’t stop talking about this bunless beauty wrapped in crisp lettuce instead of bread. I’ve witnessed heated debates at Cambridge juice bars about whether Protein Style or lettuce wraps from local spots deliver the superior low-carb experience.
My keto-devoted aunt returned from San Francisco with a smartphone full of Protein Style glamour shots. She created a detailed spreadsheet comparing it to every lettuce-wrapped burger in Greater Boston.
The most Massachusetts thing about our Protein Style obsession? The stubborn insistence that our local lettuce-wrap options are “probably better anyway” – despite never having tried the original. Still, we secretly wonder if In-N-Out’s version might be worth the cross-country flight just to settle the debate once and for all.
5. 4×4 (Four by Four) – The Challenge Burger
Four patties. Four cheese slices. One legendary sandwich that Massachusetts fitness trainers love using as the ultimate “cheat day” fantasy. This mountain of meat has sparked countless “could you finish it?” debates across Boston gyms.
My roommate swears his cousin demolished one after running the L.A. Marathon. Nobody believes him, but the story gets more elaborate every time he tells it at our monthly poker games.
What fascinates me most is how perfectly this burger represents California excess to New Englanders. We’re notoriously practical people, yet something about this gloriously impractical quadruple-decker burger captures our imagination. The 4×4 is both admired and feared – a distant food Everest we secretly wish we could conquer.
6. Neapolitan Shake – The Dessert Trifecta
Chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry swirled into creamy perfection – this shake has launched a thousand copycat attempts across Massachusetts ice cream shops. My niece’s 10th birthday party featured a “make your own Neapolitan shake” station that nearly caused a parental riot when we ran out of strawberry.
Worcester college students regularly hold “California Dream” parties where this tri-flavored masterpiece is the coveted prize for whatever ridiculous games they’re playing. The winners get homemade versions, while everyone debates whether it tastes anything like the real thing.
What’s beautifully ironic is how we’ve collectively decided that mixing three basic flavors is somehow revolutionary when In-N-Out does it. Yet we continue creating elaborate homages to a shake most of us have only seen on social media.
7. Mustard-Grilled Patty – The Flavor Enhancer
Massachusetts condiment enthusiasts practically write poetry about this technique. The patty gets a mustard glaze before hitting the grill, creating a tangy crust that elevates the entire burger experience.
During last summer’s backyard grilling competition in my Somerville neighborhood, three different contestants claimed they’d “reverse-engineered” the exact mustard-to-meat ratio. Each was convinced their version was the authentic recreation, leading to a surprisingly intense judging session.
The funny part? Most Massachusetts locals discussing mustard-grilled patties have strong opinions despite never experiencing the real thing. It’s become culinary folklore – something we collectively pretend to understand based on YouTube videos and food blog descriptions. Yet somehow, that makes our fascination even more endearing.
8. Tomato Wrap – The Carb-Free Innovation
Bold, juicy tomato slices replacing both bun and lettuce? This revolutionary concept has sparked fierce debates among Boston’s health-conscious foodies. The Tomato Wrap takes In-N-Out’s customization game to spectacular new heights.
My CrossFit-obsessed coworker claims she created a “New England version” using local tomatoes and grass-fed beef. Her Instagram posts about it get more comments than her vacation photos.
What I find hilarious is how Massachusetts locals discuss the structural integrity challenges of the Tomato Wrap with the seriousness of MIT engineers. We analyze theoretical tomato thickness, optimal slicing techniques, and potential reinforcement methods – all for a burger variation most of us have only imagined. It’s the perfect combination of our region’s intellectual overthinking and food FOMO.
9. Flying Dutchman – The Carnivore’s Dream
Pure protein perfection – two patties hugging melted cheese slices with absolutely nothing else. No bun, no veggies, no spread. This minimalist masterpiece has become legendary among Massachusetts keto devotees and carnivore diet experimenters.
My gym buddy returned from Vegas insisting the Flying Dutchman changed his perspective on fast food. He now orders bunless burgers everywhere with an annoying level of authority.
The name alone has sparked countless incorrect origin stories at Boston pub trivia nights. Is it named after the ghost ship? A Dutch In-N-Out fan? An obscure baseball reference? Nobody knows for sure, but Massachusetts locals will confidently explain their theories to anyone who’ll listen – despite most never having ordered one themselves. It’s gloriously pretentious and I’m just as guilty as everyone else.
10. Wish Burger – The Vegetable Sandwich Fantasy
Massachusetts vegetarians speak of this mythical creation with equal parts hope and skepticism. The standard In-N-Out bun loaded with fresh lettuce, tomato, onions, and spread – but you’ll need to wish for the patty because there isn’t one!
My vegetarian book club spent an entire meeting debating whether this was a legitimate menu hack or just an internet myth. Two members claimed they’d successfully ordered it during separate California trips, while everyone else questioned if they’d just received mistake orders.
What makes the Wish Burger particularly fascinating to New Englanders is how it represents California’s supposed accommodation of dietary preferences. We simultaneously mock and envy the concept – “Only in California would a burger place celebrate NOT giving you a burger” – while secretly wishing our local spots offered something similar.
